Safe people

What it is for

The sheet defines its own terms first: “Safe people are the people who help us, look after us and make us feel safe.” Then it gives a child named boxes to fill — family, teacher, friend, pet, favourite grown up — and one open box for anyone else.

The named boxes prompt without leading. A child who can fill every one has a network. A child who leaves several empty has told you where the gaps are, and has done it without being asked a question that would have felt like a test.

Using it in a session

• Let the pet count. Children are often more truthful about a pet than about an adult, and the pet box frequently loosens the ones around it.
• Notice the empty boxes. What is missing is the finding. Resist filling a gap by suggesting someone; the gap is the information.
• Ask what makes that person safe. A name is a start. “What does she do that makes you feel safe?” is where the useful detail is.
• Use the extra box for the unexpected. A neighbour, a bus driver, an older cousin. Safe adults are not always the ones on the file.
• Come back to it. A safe network changes. The same sheet three months apart shows movement nothing else will.